Im so lonely songs8/14/2023 “It’s helping people see where I was and how I felt like I was in a pretty low spot and looking at myself as a failure and as a lost cause,” he explains. So I really internalized that message and let it out say, ‘I don’t want to be by myself and I’m not going to be by myself anymore.’ That’s what that song came to mean to me.”Īrchuleta is channeling this newfound sense of self-love into his new single, “Up.” The acoustic-driven song features autobiographical lyrics, with Archuleta citing the opening lyrics as the most vulnerable as he tenderly sings, Didn’t have the best start/Felt like I was falling apart/Am I just a lost cause?/Tell me should I really give up? Describing it as a “segue song” to his next chapter, “Up” acknowledges how he was at rock bottom trying to be someone he wasn’t. “After hoping all my life to find someone to share my life with, I don’t want to be by myself. In my upbringing, they’re like, ‘If you’re gay you can’t marry someone of the opposite sex, then you should not get married, that’s the only way you can stay here.’ So I considered that for a while. “I grew up always wanting someone to share life with and have a companion. “It’s desperation,” Archuleta describes of the song. He channeled his longing for connection into his performance of “All by Myself,” which drew passionate responses and praise from judges Nicole Scherzinger, Ken Jeong, Robin Thicke and Jenny McCarthy Wahlberg. He’s also revealed that he was engaged to three different women over the years, but ultimately broke them off. In 2022, he announced that he had taken a step back from the Mormon Church and had been dating men since coming out in 2021. The 32-year-old has long been open about his faith and even took a musical hiatus in 2012 to serve a two-year-long mission trip for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Chile. The lyrics ring true for the singer who was raised as a devout Mormon in Murray, Utah. The lyrics were particularly poignant for Archuleta as he emotively sang, Hard to be sure/Sometimes I feel so insecure/And loves so distant and obscure/Remains the cure/All by myself/Don’t wanna be/All by myself anymore. But his finale song, “All by Myself” by Celine Dion, truly told his story. Throughout the show, the Utah native showed off his powerhouse voice that won him millions of votes on Idol with covers of “Your Song” by Elton John, “Photograph” by Ed Sheeran and more. So the Macaw being this big, bright red bird with big wings that are colorful flying around the stage, it was scary to do, but it was also like, ‘I’m coming into my own and I’m not going to hide anymore.’ I’m going to show everyone my colors and spread my wings and fly.” I was so afraid of myself and I was hiding. “I felt like what used to be fear was now developing into confidence not just in my performance abilities, but also in accepting who I am,” he continues. I’m getting to rewrite the narrative for me and take this back.’ But once I got there, I was like, ‘This is so fun. “I had an anxiety attack before I did it. “All those feelings of nervousness and anxiety were coming back to me that I was like, ‘Can I really do this?’” he recalls. But being part of The Masked Singer provided him with an opportunity he didn’t realize he needed. It’s time for me to learn how to be present and let people know this is who I am.’ It was really symbolic for me.”Īrchuleta admits that he was hesitant at first to join The Masked Singer, as it brought back triggering memories from his days on Idol where he says he would frequently have “nervous breakdowns” and was subject to constant exhaustion during the five-month competition. I thought, ‘I’ve done enough hiding in my life. “It’s a little loud for me, I’m not used to being so loud,” Archuelta tells American Songwriter about stepping into the role of the Macaw. Coincidentally, the Macaw is the national bird of his mother Lupe Archuleta’s native Honduras, serving as much of a connection to his family roots as it did to the roots he’s planting as his authentic self. Archuleta was disguised as the Macaw in a lavish red costume adorned with large blue, red and yellow wings, unabashedly showing off his colors each time he took the stage. That path recently led him to season nine of The Masked Singer, placing second to British singer/songwriter, Bishop Briggs. In June 2021, he publicly came out as a member of the LGBTQ+ community in a heartfelt Instagram post and continues to walk the path of finding his true self. Originally rising to fame on season seven of American Idol in 2008 as a 17-year-old with an awe-inspiring voice and boyish charm, Archuleta won over fans of all ages with his powerful performances, particularly John Lennon’s “Imagine.” In the 15 years since he was named runner-up to David Cook, Archuleta has been on a journey of not only self-discovery but self-love.
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